Amsterdam: synonymous with sex, sleaze and marijuana dreams. So when a group of friends asked me to join them on a 4-day jaunt to the capital of the Netherlands, my expectations weren't high.
Booked into the Flying Pig hostel, we made our way into the kitsch hostel where the reception is the bar and the bar is a post-pot relaxation room complete with a 20 person cushion-pit filled with psychedelic art from the sixties. The winding stairs, low beams and twisting corridors certainly gave this place some character.
1. Heineken Museum – Or rather the Heineken Experience as they like to call themselves, is a beer-filled tour enlightening you on the history of Heineken, how its brewed, best method for pouring and of course, taste testing! Mmmmm. Not to mention the room with a ceiling made of beer bottles and the obligatory bar at the end where you can use your various beer tokens!
2. Ann Frank’s Hideaway – Amsterdam is home to…well….Ann Frank’s home. You can take the tour where she spent over two years hiding from the Nazi’s during their occupation of the Netherlands in World War 2. Vertical stairways. Hidden rooms. Boarded up windows. Walking around her home, you can’t help but feel like you are intruding on an extremely private part of her life. However, the tour is respectful and an important part of Amsterdam’s history. Tip – Get there early or you’ll be waiting outside for a while!
3. Sex Museum – An absolute must to marvel at all things arousing. From the history of sex (complete with wooden dildos, ouch) to 12ft penises and animatronics which ‘flash’ you as you walk past. This quirky museum is worth it for the comedy value alone. Tip – the back room in the museum is optional, filled with more hard-core paraphernalia, a strong stomach is recommended.
4. Van Gough Art Museum – A truly great art gallery showcasing some of Van Gough’s greatest masterpieces. We were able to view all Van Gough’s big name pieces including his self-portrait, Sunflowers and Starry Night. The artwork on show will vary depending on when pieces are touring the world.
5. The Pink Elephant Sex Show – When in Amsterdam…after spending some time at the bar, we decided to head to our first live sex show at the famous Pink Elephant. On a canal lined street, we paid our 40 Euros (free penis lollypop included) to watch strangers have sex on stage. What I was delighted to find out was you pay once and can sit as long as you like! Think dark, intimate theatre with suspiciously stained seats. The sex show consists of strip teases, funny routines and sex scenes complete on rotating bed. We didn’t last long and opted for a stroll home along the red light district.
6. Red Light District – Surreal is one word for this. Before you visit Amsterdam you know it exists, you know what it’s there for and you know you will see it. But having a woman slap-bang in front you selling her va-jay-jay for cash, I felt a little unsettled to say that least. It seems the *ahem* ladies of age are showcased through the day, whilst the younger girls are the main attraction come nightfall. Barely looking 18, it’s hard not to feel uncomfortable. Tip – Watch out for the pimps, they DO NOT like you taking photos.
7. I AmSterdam – A neat piece of art located in Museumplein Park in front of the Rijksmuseum, these iconic letters have been a much sought after photo opportunity for many visitors. So naturally I obliged and climbed atop for my own shot! A nice park to kick back after a full day touring the city.
8. Winding streets, canals and trams - Yes, Amsterdam offers an abundance of beautiful city canals, winding streets full of character and trundling trams (which you really need to watch out for when crossing the street!
This eclectic ‘Top 8’ list mix really sums up our tip to the city. Sex shows mixed with significant history. Its infamous red light district is contained and beyond the sleaze is a vibrant city full of culture, history and beautiful architecture. Amsterdam is a definite city recommendation.
For now,
Jones x
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